READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
