my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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