Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
