either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
