And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
