hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize