i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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