Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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