wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
