today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
