ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Send help, water and tortillas.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
