so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
