They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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