____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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