guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
