i think i have two assholes
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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