At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
