I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
