So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
