No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
