And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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