Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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