It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
