I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize