I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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