Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize