i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
COCAINE IS GR8
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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