watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
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Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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