I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
