your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.