Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.