im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level