Apparently you make a good broom.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins