You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here