My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize