well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
