got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
