I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
