im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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