Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
