Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?

  (213): View more from California

  Ya ya. Where you eating?

  (818): View more from California

  Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.

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  (818): Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out? (213): Ya ya. Where you eating? (818): Cereal and beer. U kno u want in. http://tfl.nu/3o1u
  Replies (4) Good night (1286) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.

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  (936): Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy. http://tfl.nu/jygh
  Replies (15) Good night (6481) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.

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  (813): Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever. http://tfl.nu/e0dp
  Replies (33) Good night (5609) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.

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  (205): This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone. http://tfl.nu/jtsj
  Replies (28) Good night (573) Bad night (4962)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  birth control should be required to get into college

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  (413): birth control should be required to get into college http://tfl.nu/91c5
  Replies (28) Good night (5691) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.

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  (269): I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck. http://tfl.nu/534s
  Replies (10) Good night (5563) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped

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  (319): Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped http://tfl.nu/i5o2
  Replies (33) Good night (1362) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.

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  (541): I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar. http://tfl.nu/9erd
  Replies (4) Good night (2038) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.

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  (864): We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom. http://tfl.nu/8ad4
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.

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  (303): Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs. http://tfl.nu/8ywt
  Replies (6) Good night (520) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

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  (306): For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is http://tfl.nu/ppgp
  Replies (8) Good night (779) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING

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  (317): Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING http://tfl.nu/f8zp
  Replies (6) Good night (948) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.

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  (480): He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps. http://tfl.nu/9n8s
  Replies (4) Good night (352) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught

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  (909): Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught http://tfl.nu/ohgq
  Replies (9) Good night (804) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?

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  (251): So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"? http://tfl.nu/3mzm
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (290)

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