I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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