Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16

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(616): View more from Michigan

a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning

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(513): View more from Ohio

sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.

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(428): View more from

she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.

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(972): View more from Texas

I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.

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