Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Kiss

(1-313): View more from Michigan

Puke

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(313): Kiss (1-313): Puke http://tfl.nu/qokk

Replies (6) Good night (1018) Bad night (1940)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.

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(203): 'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/k9vf

Replies (15) Good night (705) Bad night (3612)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.

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(508): dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced. http://tfl.nu/9kh7

Replies (23) Good night (909) Bad night (8684)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.

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(321): I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it. http://tfl.nu/0ggm

Replies (37) Good night (13529) Bad night (1279)
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(718): View more from New York

She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.

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(718): She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love. http://tfl.nu/h785

Replies (9) Good night (1503) Bad night (655)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day

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(240): Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day http://tfl.nu/21po

Replies (6) Good night (2788) Bad night (594)
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(641): View more from Iowa

Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you

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(641): Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you http://tfl.nu/x1rz

Replies (5) Good night (1375) Bad night (716)
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(805): View more from California

I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.

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(805): I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it. http://tfl.nu/mmaq

Replies (0) Good night (503) Bad night (238)
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(716): View more from New York

Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators

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(716): Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators http://tfl.nu/mdm6

Replies (8) Good night (863) Bad night (442)
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(562): View more from California

Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.

(562): View more from California

I love my job.

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(562): Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night. (562): I love my job. http://tfl.nu/bsab

Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (233)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool

(1-507): View more from Minnesota

In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.

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(507): I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool (1-507): In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking. http://tfl.nu/611z

Replies (4) Good night (594) Bad night (253)
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(623): View more from Arizona

It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.

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(623): It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that. http://tfl.nu/i8dz

Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (242)
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(561): View more from Florida

In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm

(561): View more from Florida

Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots

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(561): In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm (561): Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots http://tfl.nu/w2ja

Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (177)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.

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(724): I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick. http://tfl.nu/1sdq

Replies (9) Good night (817) Bad night (230)
Favorite
(217): View more from Illinois

Do one night stands count towards my number?

(516): View more from New York

Yes. A penis is a penis

(217): View more from Illinois

Even bad ones?

(516): View more from New York

YES.

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(217): Do one night stands count towards my number? (516): Yes. A penis is a penis (217): Even bad ones? (516): YES. http://tfl.nu/iyle

Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (294)

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