fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
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We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with