Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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  (603): Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame?? http://tfl.nu/gyhi
  Replies (15) Good night (4754) Bad night (599)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.

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  (205): Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit. http://tfl.nu/78iu
  Replies (9) Good night (1053) Bad night (3980)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake

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  (503): We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake http://tfl.nu/m3xg
  Replies (13) Good night (3443) Bad night (916)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages

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  (815): I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages http://tfl.nu/m114
  Replies (4) Good night (809) Bad night (2281)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.

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  (204): New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us. http://tfl.nu/chty
  Replies (10) Good night (6022) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model

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  (850): Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model http://tfl.nu/o9d2
  Replies (5) Good night (1687) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.

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  (209): She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana. http://tfl.nu/10jo
  Replies (3) Good night (2001) Bad night (557)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.

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  (810): I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me. http://tfl.nu/noof
  Replies (10) Good night (690) Bad night (1675)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.

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  (360): High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice. http://tfl.nu/cgkk
  Replies (12) Good night (1338) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.

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  (609): There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now. http://tfl.nu/la5k
  Replies (5) Good night (1024) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together

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  (816): First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman. (540): Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together http://tfl.nu/87tf
  Replies (3) Good night (1081) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.

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  (620): I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender. http://tfl.nu/s55r
  Replies (5) Good night (1639) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD

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  (914): DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD http://tfl.nu/a868
  Replies (3) Good night (1000) Bad night (394)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold

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  (701): And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold http://tfl.nu/d5yp
  Replies (8) Good night (1287) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse

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  (719): I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse http://tfl.nu/h22m
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (423)

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