If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.