Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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