like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
