i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
