You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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