In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
