worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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