3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize