So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize