i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
