Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
