I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
