I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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