guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
did you just send me my own nude
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
