i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
