Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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