that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize