I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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