carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
