So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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